July 2012
vertiga asked: 50 (because you need to remember how awesome you are.)
Anonymous asked: 13?
Obscure Questions - So I got a BUNCH of new...
1: What eye color do you find sexiest?
2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?
3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?
4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?
5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)
6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?
7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?
8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?
9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?
10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?
11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?
12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?
13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?
14: What's your most favorite part of your body?
15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?
16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?
17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?
18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?
19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?
20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?
21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)
22: Which continents have you been on?
23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?
24: Backpacks or satchels?
25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?
26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?
28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?
29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?
30: The latest you've ever slept?
31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?
32: Do you pick at scabs?
33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?
34: How far can you throw a baseball?
35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?
36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?
37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?
38: A relationship with love or one with sex?
39: Do you eat enough vegetables?
40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?
41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?
42: Do you swear in front of your parents?
43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?
44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?
45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?
46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.
47: City or nature person?
48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)
49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?
50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!
4 tags
So my ex girlfriend looks at my blog a lot more...
3 tags
"Mama say, mama saw my mama saw"
What the fuck does that even mean?
6 tags
“Loving someone hasn’t gotten me any dedications in a book; All I’ve gotten are...”
– Me
4 tags
I miss her a lot today...
That’s all I can say about that.
I’m exhausted… And I have to go to work.
5 tags
Shit. I can't even play any video games.
My mind and body keeps on going from depressed to angry then depressed then angry. I just had something to eat which I immediately threw up. I’m just so fucked up at the moment, I can’t even think… What’s wrong with me?
I’m gonna crawl into bed with a bar of chocolate and TRY no to think about my ex… Fuck, I just, miss having someone. NOT A GIRLFRIEND, but a...
I need to get a grip. I'm honestly losing my...
I really hate my ex sometimes… Anyway, I’m gonna TRY and play some video games… Take my mind off things, eat shitty from the packet spaghetti and try to to self harm, get drunk or anything else self destructive…
I fuckin’ hate my life. Well done Lottie. I hope all is going well with you! I’m a fuckin’ wreck over here!
… The only girl that could...
2 tags
I can't wait to be dead.
Wouldn’t you agree Bunni?
3 tags
ridiculousties asked: Reading that dream you had made me cry. You're so lovely. You don't deserve any of the pain you're in. I love you. And you're not dying until you're 103. Okay? Okay. Talk to me. <3
4 tags
I'm getting much better at handling panic attacks.
Just fel one come over me in the kitchen while I was getting a drink. Immediately got on my hands and knees and breathed as much as I could. Thank God I was next to something to drink.
Thank God for the fucking panic attack.
Thank God for making much such an amazing boyfriend that I have someone next to me in bed who can calm me down and make me feel better. Oh. Wait.
I fucking hate you God!...
5 tags
I just realised, I sacrificed my happiness for...
I could have gone back to Edinburgh for Uni. Actually it was something I definitely was going to do up until I met her… I stayed in England for her…
Now, I spend most of my days FAKING smiling for people who don’t know how much pain I’m in, how much I struggle how much I cry everyday, how much I’ve lost it slowly over, a painful, year and a half… And when...
4 tags
A vivid dream - A side effect of the anti...
It started with Lottie’s friends, 3 of them, as I was walking down the street to see Lottie [we had broken up but were still ‘see each other everyday’ kind of friends] I saw her 3 friends, I can’t really remember their names, Bryony, Vicky and someone else…. I can’t remember her name but funnily enough, she was the only one who did not show pure venomous hate...
3 tags
I'm scared sometimes she'll show her tits to some...
I don’t want her to be like that…
4 tags
“Love spawns either men who will live forever or men who will be forever broken.”
– Me
7 tags
What helps sometimes
When all I want is Lottie… When someone else, someone I don’t even know leaves me a random ask “Are you okay? Do you want to talk?” Makes me feel ‘better’…
I still feel so broken, to the point where no one will ever fall in love with me and to the point where the only one who can fix me is the one who broke me, Lottie… But to know that some people...
1 tag
Fuck this.
I’m gonna have another whiskey and cigarette and cry myself to sleep.
5 tags
I'm so fucking broken
She left me with nothing…
Well shit.
5 tags
Tips for handling Unrequited love #10
Nicotine and Whiskey.
When she’s on my mind throughout the fucking day and I need a break, I’ll pour myself a double whiskey [or any strong spirit with mixer if you’d prefer] and light up a cigarette.
Sometimes I need some time to myself… The rest of it is hers.
“My heart is yours but yours is not mine…”
1 tag
Having the old laptop again is bring back old...
I really miss her today… I hate sun sets like this. Reminds me of times with Lottie, sitting under trees in Devizes… How did I fuck up something so perfect?!?!???
Will I ever see her again?
Will I ever be fixed?
3 tags
Literally losing my mind
I can’t speak, my laptop charger isn’t working so I have to use my other laptop… the one that I don’t like to use cause… Lottie reasons… I can’t find my cigarette, words that are simple are lost and I’m standing there trying to figure out a 2 syllable word…
God today is getting weirder and weirder. I don’t want to use my other...
2 tags
I can't sleep again...
Just think about the sweet Haggis breakfast I’ll be digging into this time next month… We need something to look forward to. Might not be what who we want but it’s something Bun.
Haggis.
God I'm depressed - Might be because I'm tired....
Not before a whiskey and a cigarette….
xvadasultenfuss asked: aww it's ok love :) glad you're feeling better now! xoxox alwayssss here if you need me
Anonymous asked: Your ex is easy to find on facebook, you shouldn't be using her real name online
4 tags
The one I love.
The thing is, even if I won’t ever be loved again, I have to smile at least a little bit, because at one point I had her and she had me. I know I fucked up. I know if I did things differently we would be together, right now in fact, she’d be sitting in the living room with me, we’d be eating a pizza or a curry, or even in the pub with our mates, either way she’s not here...
5 tags
thesmilepatrol asked: Hi there! Just sending you a smile hoping it will make your day a little better:) Love, The Smile Patrol
4 tags
Tips for handling Unrequited love #9
GARDENING.
I just spent 2 hours 4 hours [HAS IS BEEN THAT LONG!?!?] pulling out weeds. Had a beer and a few cigarettes. Didn’t think about my ex, just about how nice my garden looked.
Well after a few hours in the Garden pulling out...
I think if I take the necessary steps i.e. follow the advice I gave Lottie not too long ago, [Baking, cooking, painting etc] I can get back to where I was; Still in a horrible state of unrequited love but lying to myself about it and living an a sort of ‘peaceful’ state of ignorance.
It’s not great but it’s the best I can do for the rest of my life… Hopefully find a...
4 tags
Sometimes I have a bottle of pills in one hand, a...
“Why shouldn’t I do it?”
4 tags
Even though I regret texting my ex what I did last...
I feel like she shoulda texted back. I mean, I was just looking for a friend and she just let me be. Waking up from ‘last night’ I feel sore, sick and completely useless. And ugly…
You know she probably met some guy last night. Might have slept with him or something. I hope she didn’t, I don’t think she’s like that… This is why getting off the drink is so...
3 tags
At least Lottie thought I was funny
4 tags
That feel when you sent that text to your ex you...
Made me look as vulnerable and weak as I was trying to pretend I wasn’t.
Anonymous asked: Hey, maybe try and think of how things could be worse for you? (I don't mean that to sound cocky.. like I'm genuinely trying to help) I mean.. the girl you love is safe right? that's something good? :D
4 tags
Facebook/ Tumblr
Me [Truth]: I'm depressed. I cut myself. I miss my ex. I want to die.
People on facebook: Fuck off! We don't care. You're such an ugly fuck why don't you do it?
Tumblr: What's wrong? Are you okay? It'll be okay. Don't worry about her!
Me [Lying]: I don't care that she left me. I'm better. I'm happy now.
Facebook: Good. We only liked you when you are happy. Act how we want you to and we'll be your friends.
Tumblr: No you're not. We know you. You can tell us anything.
To everyone on facebook: I've been lying to you... I'm not happy at all. And what makes it worse is that when you knew about it, almost none of you cared to help you just MADE IT WORSE by telling me what to do.
To everyone on Tumblr: THANK YOU
