I just realised, I sacrificed my happiness for Lottie long before she broke me…

I could have gone back to Edinburgh for Uni. Actually it was something I definitely was going to do up until I met her… I stayed in England for her…

Now, I spend most of my days FAKING smiling for people who don’t know how much pain I’m in, how much I struggle how much I cry everyday, how much I’ve lost it slowly over, a painful, year and a half… And when I’m not faking it I say nothing at all. I stay silent and I never open my mouth lest I say something stupid and pathetic.

Lottie was the closest friend I made in England. She was the only one who didn’t make me feel small and pathetic. I sacrificed GOING HOME for her… Then she broke me…

Lottie, I hope you reading this… There is so much I did for you and you don’t even know. The worst part is, even after all this time I still love you…

Now, I have absolutely no one… All I do is fake my life for everyone elses fucking benefit. All because of you Lottie…