I’m getting much better at handling panic attacks.

Just fel one come over me in the kitchen while I was getting a drink. Immediately got on my hands and knees and breathed as much as I could. Thank God I was next to something to drink.

Thank God for the fucking panic attack.

Thank God for making much such an amazing boyfriend that I have someone next to me in bed who can calm me down and make me feel better. Oh. Wait.

I fucking hate you God! Y’know killing my dad at 3 months old wasn’t enough. 9 FUCKING YEARS OF BULLYING WASN’T ENOUGH!

You had to punish me, leave me with love for Lottie long after she left my ugly pathetic ass. FUCK YOU GOD. I’ll FUCKING KILL YOU.