So, I’ve been perpetually tipsy if not drunk since then.
In honour of that, and because I’m just drinking on my own [as usual] and I’ve hidden my ex’s phone number from myself:
- If you like dubstep I’m going to kill you.
- I fucking love you mum!
- SHUT UP! This song is all about me!
- Ex girlfriend. I fucking hate you. Why did you leave me!?!?1
- Man, what if we just fucking packed our bags, took out all our cash and went to AMERICA. Let’s do that man. Just you and me man, let’s go to America!
- I fuckin’ love you man.
- Lottie, I mean ex girlfriend, I mean Bunni. I didn’t mean it. I love you, I really do. I wish you were here.
- Fucking Conservatives man. The man is fucking us in the corn hole.
- I’m superman!
- I’m BATMAN *cough hack cough* HOW DOES CHRISTIAN BALE TALK LIKE THAT!?!?!
- Hey Lottie? Sorry about those last message.
- Ugh I feel sick man.
- Fuck you man. I love her!
- I’m sorry man. I love you.
- AMANDA SEYFRIED IS FUCKING AWESOME.
- I would marry Amanda SO HARD!
- *clicks on xbox* Watch this skill guys *dies repeatedly* AAAAH FUCK YOU ARMOUR LOCK FAGGOT! FUCK LAG! FUCKING ASS HOLE. HEY FUCK YOU KID!
[Roll on 1 p.m.]
- Hey Lottie, It’s me. Sorry about those texts last night. I was drunk and I just… I just miss you. I’m sorry.
You know that sounds like a good night… Just me, a bottle of whiskey and video games though…
I do miss Lottie though…