I can’t believe I’m doing this but people in my life told me that it might help me, that it might help me on the next step on my life and after so long, it’s time for me to go on ti the next chapter in my life.
I’ve graduated, well will do in July, I’m getting a new place, either in Bristol or California depending on wether or not I get the job, I’m finally starting to move on. I guess this is me trying to get closure, trying to FINALLY end a chapter in my life that was all about you and maybe start one that’s more about me.
I want to say sorry, the break up took a year too long and it tore me apart to the point where I’m not who I used to be at all. But I’m trying to find out who that guy was and if I can be him again. I see you met someone else. I’m not going to lie, at first a wave of shock hit me and hit me hard but now I’m actually smiling. I’m sincerly happy you met someone else, really I can’t explain how happy I am that you met someone. I only hope he makes you happy, and that he’s a better man than I was. I’m still trying to make things work with Amanda Seyfried, kinda hard as she’s in California and I’m in Bristol and she’s a Hollywood actress and we’ve never met. ONE DAY!
I guess you could say I’m fine. I drink A LOT less then I did, I eat healthy (well I try to), still smoke but I’ve cut down, still making films and ivewjuat finished my 15 minute masterpeice. Kinda getting into Star Trek after all these years, but just cause of Star Trek Into Darkness and I have confused man feelings for Benedict Cumberbatch =P (yes. You turned your ex boyfriend gay. Congradulations! =P)
I guess i just felt that after all these years and after a long time thinking i was too late to get closure, i just needed to see if i was right. My gran died recently (I’m actually on a train back home right now to go to the funeral) and thinking about her and how proud of me she was, she wouldn’t be very proud if i left things the way the were between us and if i didn’t give myself the chance to properly move on. I want to because you have and I’m really happy that you have, it’s time for me to aswell.
I guess that’s all i have to say. Sorry if this knocked you back for 10, it’s like getting a message from a ghost right? I hope you’re well and I’d love to hear about your life, what you’re up to, how your life is and your new fella! Is he the mike i know (i always knew.it by the way =P didn’t i?). I’d actually like to take a stab at being friends, putting the past behind and actually living my life properly and that means putting old demons to rest.
anyway, i got another 3 hours on the train, another 3 hours of my bum being numb and another 3 hours without a fag! (my hands are shaking and i dunno if its cause im sending you this message or i havn’t had a cigarette in a while!). All the best and get back to me. I’d really like to hear from you.
With thoughs, Dwayne
I can’t believe it. After two long years of destructive, horrible instance abuse, self harm suicidal thoughts not to mention attempts, pain, tears. Two long years or despair, I’m finally ready to finish that chapter in my life and move on to the next. I’m so happy Lottie found someone else. I hope that guy knows how incredably lucky he is and never treats her as badly as I did and never lets her go. He’s got an angel in his pocket there.
Now, 3 more hours and I’m in Edinburgh, I can say goodbye to my granmother and also to the demons who plagued my life for two long years.