Out of hundreds of you, most of you, really a vast majorityof you are girls. So what is it? What is it about me that makes me so attractive blog wise but not very in real life?
I know you’re all not following me because of how I look, but quite a lot of you have stated, in your opinions, that you think I am good looking. So please explain, how am I more attractive on the internet and seen as ugly, or at least not very good looking in real life?
[These are the kinda things that should stay in my head]
What can be more beautiful than that?
I’m bored, lonely, the slightest bit horny but at the same time completely alone and have no way to vent it [I don’t masturbate… Too messy]:
How the women I’m attracted to rank [currently]
When You’re as ugly, worthless and made of poop AND single as I am, you spend a lot of time making lists. I like lists.
I need a girlfriend…
See the thing is, when I’m with her face to face I can talk like a fucking legend, maybe to not enough to attract her to me in any romantic way, but enough to sustain a conversation that can last more than a few minutes and isn’t made up of:
Her: I like turtles
Me: KILL ALL THE BABIES. TERMINATE YOUR ‘BORTIONS!!!!! TINA TURNER ATE MY GRAPES AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!
Her: You’re silly
Me: Thanks.
On-line I turn into such a fucking freak. I mean I never know what to say, I can’t see anyone’s face so knowing how they react is half the battle, plus… Well I’m not just ugly on the outside. I’m not interesting, what knowledge I have are of topics that are of no interest to normal human beings in today’s society, and whatever jokes I have got up my sleeve end in someone dying or an abortion. I’m boring, I quickly run out of things to say and I just have nothing to offer to any conversations. Shit I hate to say this but Lottie was the only one I could ever talk to for hours on end. I’ve had friends I’ve known for decades I can’t do that with!
Maybe it’s because Lottie was brain damaged and I’m a retard. I dunno.
Aaaaaanyway….
God I want to crawl under a rock. That conversation just made me look and feel like an idiot. The weird thing is, I thought I gave up trying to ‘woo’ her. Why am I still feeling all, bjkbfkjbkfjbaf about it, her, etc. God knows. She’s just, when I talk to her as much of an ass I feel, I can forget about all the damaged the blond scouse ass hole did to me. I can forget about how ugly I am. There were moments when she smiled at me, looked me in the eye and smiled, and I didn’t feel like a monster, I felt fucking ‘good’. I haven’t felt good in a loooooooong time. Maybe I’m getting romantic feelings mixed up with something else, maybe I do really like her, maybe if I adopted her as a sister I would realise “WAIT! I didn’t fancy you, I just wanted you as a sister!”. Or maybe I do fancy someone who really has, won’t and never will have any interest in me… I can’t blame her. I’m pretty disgusting.
Anyway, I though Id share this next bit with you to show you the limit of how charming I can be. I asked her out about 4 months ago. She later said she wasn’t interested in me in that way and then LOTTIE came back into my life and FUCKED up 7 months of hard and painful work to try and get better by making me believe we were gonna get back together, I mean it was a miracle I found myself attracted to the redhead, I though I would be fucked up forever… Anyway, this is the absolute apex of my charm.
Here’s the thing. I like you very much, more than people would, I dunno, ‘socially’ deem ‘cool’. In fact, some scholars would say I ‘fancy’ you. Academia, I dunno, aaaanyway, I was wondering if it would be okay if I could take you out sometime when you get back to bristol? I dunno, a movie and dinner? I know it sounds pretty old school and lame, as far as I know people don’t ‘date’ anymore and just hook up at parties and night clubs and decide to fornicate on a regular basis after that but hey, I’m old school hip hop so i still ‘date’… Anyway, don’t worry about it. I’m just saying words… Gonna make a peach crumble now…
… Ladies and gentlemen. Dwayne Preboye and his dating prowess.
Wow. No wonder women think I’m a fuck.
Without any definite sign I guess I’m just gonna give up on the redhead, as much as I like her [and I like her so much it aches my stomach, gives me a headache and I crawl under my covers and listen to Verve on repeat.] and I guess I’ll just be single for the rest of my life. No worries. I’m gonna get a dog. Name him Tim.That wee bastard will keep me company.
And I know you think I’m just one of those peeps that say “Oh I’m going to die alone” etc etc.
No.
I’m literally going to die ALONE.
I’m ugly as shit, I’m damaged goods, my ex pretty much went out of her way to completely break me into pieces, cheers Lottie, I have MAJOR DEPRESSION DISORDER, A.K.A. MAJOR BAGGAGE, I smoke, I drink [both out of twisted necessity] and all I can do good is video games.
You look me in my fucking ugly face and tell me I’m not gonna die alone… FUCK!
Well shit. Guess I’m going to bed in a shit mood…
When I say something and no body gets it or I get an awkward laugh back and my brain is like:
Welsh Cake
You got a choice between the unmovable object and the unstoppable force - Either one is a shot to the head - NO GAIN.
It’s fine, I still have video games.
There’s a line between punk rock and slob - Ain’t no matter, I’m drunk either way.
Fuck you France. You’re so lucky top get her. Not that I had a chance with her anyway.
Just gonna drink and forget about it!
Like I’ve done to so many years. Merde!
I really don’t need another crush. I need to face facts that my chances with girls lays between 6 feet of dirt and a pile of shit.
Song related. IT’S ACTUALLY CALLED ‘NOT WHAT YOU WANT’. SPOTIFY YOU DAFT TWATS. It’s pretty much describes EVERYTHING I feel when I look at a beautiful girl… Fuck you God. I fucking hate you more than ANYTHING I have ever fucking felt sour for in my life. I fucking hate you…
No offence to any Christian, Muslim, Pastafarian or Jewish followers… I just don’t like him because he only gave me ONE chance at meaningful companionship… I know it was my fault it ended, but it wasn;t my choice that I only get ONE SHOT at it. I HATE that… Anyway… Yeah… here’s a song =]
(Source: Spotify)
Seemed really smiley and laughing at my jokes. Then… I mentioned that I played video games [and showed the book I was reading on the subject]… Her face… Kinda… I dunno… ‘Soured’ would be the best way to put it.
Dear lord, if I stay in this country any longer my virginity will definitely grow back. Where are all the English girls who like that I’m a Nerd? Not ‘don’t mind it’, I’m talking LIKE… Don’t tell me there was only ONE. And don’t tell me it took BRAIN DAMAGE for her to like it!!!
Maybe this is God telling me “You fucked up ONE GOOD THING. Here, these are the fucking consequences Romeo!”
Well Shit…
Cute brunette at work in a cute red dress.
Fucking hell God! Giving this nigga so much stress.
I know I’m not fit, not fun or educated,
so just please stop sending girls that I’ll never fornicate with.
My xbox is on stand-by my rifle set to stun,
But I’m hunting down Solo and not ladies by the gun.
I’m a passionate lover and real good cook,
But when girls look at me I seem to give ‘em the spooks.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a confident guy,
Fuck with me on Halo Reach and I will shoot you down to size.
But when it comes down to talking with the beautiful ladies.
I just say something stupid and they soon start to hate me.
I be tripping over my heart strings and and size thirteen’s,
I can’t talk to women, if you know what I mean.
So when I think about the future and wonder if I’ll get hitched,
I realise that liking Star Wars here can leave me in a ditch.
And even if they they were fans of the Sci-fi stuff,
Doesn’t help my face, I’m worse than Jabba the Hutt.
Word.
